When people say that homosexuality is too hard for kids to understand, I lol.
It’s really not that hard is it to say, “Sometimes boys like boys and sometimes girls like girls. Now eat your fucking jello.”
When I was a kid it was expected of me to believe that an eight foot tall rabbit left me painted eggs once a year, that whenever I lost a tooth a small winged creature went into my room and traded it for a quarter. That a red suited man left me a bunch of presents once a year and that small green wearing men left me a small amount of green candy on St. Patrick’s day (my kindergarten teacher told me that), yet I can’t understand when two boys or two girls love each other? Really?
My neighbor just yelled to one of his buddies “How many ounces are in a quart?”
His friend didnt know.
I yelled down from my window “32 ounces!” and then hid.
He looked around and then yelled out “Thank you female God!”
Things Ambika loves about Tom: Manbutt. No other explanation is required.
obsessivelywriting530 replied to your post: astroize started following you w-what omg hay
That snake is freaking me out.it’s a happy snake
Oh well then, hello snake!
Sophie: Did you use your magic to make this?
Howl: Only a little, just to help the flowers grow.
My dad just emailed me this huge list of puns oh my god
- I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
- When chemists die, they barium.
- Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
- I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
- I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
- This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
- I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
- I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
- They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
- We’re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
- Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
- Broken pencils are pointless.
- I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
- What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
- I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
- All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
- I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
- Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.
- A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
- The earthquake in Washington obviously was the Government's fault.
- Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.
Mum gets a bit emotional on first nights,” he says, “but Dad… he started to weep at the first night of After the Dance when he was telling me how proud he was. I didn’t know what to do. I just held onto him. I said, ‘You’re not crying out of relief that I got through it, are you?’ And he said, ‘No, you stupid boy. I’m crying because you were so wonderful.’
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